Thanksgiving
by Judith Bowman on 11/25/14
Many go to considerable lengths to gather on this special Day and remember, 90% of success is showing up! That places a huge emphasis on that 10% of what we do once we're there! What we do and say is important, and hosts and guests have a responsibility to help ensure a memorable Day.
Hosts: time to dust off your good china, crystal, bring out the festive table linen, candles. Pre-select appropriate background music. Dress up your home, your table and yourself. Serving guests on paper plates and plastic forks is not "entertaining." This may be easier however, given the time and effort others have invested to be with you, this is not only bad form, it is actually quite rude. What are you saving this for if not now, with close friends and family? The host sets the tone. Be festive and dress UP for the Holidays!
Teach children what is expected of them. Teach your children now how to shake hands (eye-contact!),use names, answer questions with more than a “yes” or "no" answer, how to hold a fork and knife and review basic table manners (American and Continental.) Children watch how you interact (or not); lead by example.
Host Responsibilities:
- greet guests at the door. Offer to take coats or, coach children (as junior hosts) to do so (great life training!)
- provide guests' initial refreshment. Thereafter, tell them to help themselves.
- have a designated area for coats and purses.
- consider a designated play area and even a children's dining table. Have high and low-tech toys and games available.
- facilitate conversation. Provide introductions, monitor alcohol consumption, music, replenishing food, etc.
- have a scented candle burning in restrooms; light table candles and others as you deem appropriate.
- have ice, soda, water, mixers, coasters and festive cocktail napkins out.
- flowers are festive, as well as a great hostess gift.
At the Table:
Sitting and Seating: The host is seated at the head of the table. You honour the most important person (governed by age/gender) by seating them to the right of the host. Couples should be separated unless newly married or newly engaged.
- Grace and an optional informal toast should be offered at the beginning of the feast.
Rule: "one should not even take a sip of water until after grace is said." For those who do not say grace: bow respectfully, while grace is being said.
- No one should begin eating until everyone is seated and served.
- host signals when to begin by picking up their utensils and saying something like "Happy Thanksgiving!" "Enjoy!" Bon appetite!; be inclusive
- make eye-contact with everyone at your table.
- children can help (learn how to) set and clear the table;
Guests:
- never arrive empty handed. Bring not only your signature dish (or whatever you were asked) but something for your host i.e. a candle, hand towels, egg nog, wine, flowers, etc.
- circulate and contribute. Resist the urge to hide in the kitchen or plant yourself in front of the T.V. although having the Macy's Day Parade/football game on is more than fine on Thanksgiving Day. Suggestion: have photos – new and very old, your wedding album or vacation photos out for viewing, cards or a game out to play is a good fallback.
- offer to help clean up. Thanksgiving is probably one of the few times hosts may graciously accept.
Thank your host for inviting you and hosts, walk guests to door (outside the door to their car if possible!) and thank them for coming. Guests remember to write a thank you note.
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