Compliments in the Workforce

Compliments of appreciation. We all appreciate a compliment but ironically, don't practice giving them enough at work.  Are we getting too caught up in political correctness and forgetting that acknowledging others is basic to who we are? Saying "thank you" and showing appreciation to someone who helps make our job easier, work more interesting or enjoyable is an opportunity to make others feel special and advance relationships. Thanking another for help with a project, supporting you or believing in you is important. Extending a sincere compliment is almost universally appreciated and reflects positively on you.  

Compliments regarding a co-worker's appearance or clothing however, can be tricky, as sexual innuendo and sexual harassment issues are real.  What may be intended as harmless may be misinterpreted.

President Obama introduced California's Attorney General Kamala Harris at a Democratic fundraiser as "by far, the best looking attorney general in the country." The remark raised a few eyebrows.

Was this a sexist remark? Was the superior/subordinate card in play? Are cross gender compliments to be reconsidered at work?  Are compliments on looks or other personal affects including attire ever acceptable at the office?

Despite having extended similar compliments to those of the same gender without incident, President Obama called the Attorney General to apologize for the remark which I believe is ridiculous as there was clearly no sexual innuendo here.

Should we feel free to extend a compliment on attire/accessories or notice a new hair style?  " like your tie!" (said with a lilted voice and raised eyebrows) is not the same as looking pointedly at the tie and saying to the person, "that’s a good-looking tie!"

Remember, it's "how we say it."  Tone, context and patterns of extending compliments are everything when it comes to unwanted remarks.

Also, the nature of the relationship should be considered.  If a close friend at work is extending the compliment, this is different. We form close bonds with the people we work with and appreciate their candor.

Extending insincere compliments to make the other person feel better or because you know they like the tie is gracious and thoughtful. Any time we go out of our way to make another feel good about themselves, is a positive thing.  

Not extending compliments at work for fear of sexual innuendo or offending would be a great loss.

The bottom line, no offense will ever come from you telling me, "You look fabulous!"