Marriage: helped or hindered your career?
“My first marriage was at age 20 and over time it became very clear to me that not only was my husband not supportive of my career but he was becoming an impediment to that and consequently my happiness.” Ms. Nicholas explains, “it seemed the more successful I became the more threatened he felt and at age 40 I had the courage to end it; my second marriage has been the antithesis of that.”
“I make sure my husband, whom I love dearly, doesn’t get left behind, as much as he wants to be included. So, if I have a business meeting in the evening I will plan it such that I say, this will be over at 7:15, so come at 7:20 and we’ll have dinner. Or I have a three-day meeting I will take two days of vacation in front. .. so I ‘book-end’ pleasure things with work.”
Being married to the right person, has helped me enormously. My husband is a great "business" partner and will do anything he can to help me be successful including not making me feel pressured to be at home when duty calls.
Personal/Balance
While I am authentic and professional and can be fun at work, with my husband, there is an entirely different Lynn that I wouldn’t want anyone professionally to see … and its kooky and silly and my husband loves that side of me and he says, ‘that’s the two sides of Lynn’ and he tells people and they say, oh she’s so professional and he’ll say, ’oh no she’s not…you have no idea’… so he allows me to have another side of myself that’s just for us where I have no sense of responsibility, zero, none. And that’s really important for balance in my life and that’s what’s special about our relationship is that I am just totally myself with him in every way.”… and she goes on to say, “and he could tell you stories…!”
Family values
I can’t speak to children but I am much closer with my brother, sister and mother now (she lost her father 15 years ago) than I have ever been because of technology.” She goes on to say, “I gave my 87 year old mother an iPad which she can easily manage – and I let her ‘track’ me through “Find My Friends’ so she feels involved in my life.”
Support Network
“There are many definitions of “support network” and personally, I don’t tend to have a small number of personal friends. I have lots and lots of acquaintances that I am just as happy to spend time with, as if they were a best friend.” Ms. Nicholas shares the example of when a friend/colleague unexpectedly called to get together looking for a warm shoulder. “I changed my plans, had a wonderful evening and we enhanced our friendship and that’s what it’s all about.” She continues, “so you have to make your networks by making yourself available and others will make themselves available to you, as well. But you have to make yourself open to it to make it happen.”
Advice to other women:
1. Be authentic.
You can’t be something you’re not because it’s not sustainable and people see through that; you are what you are. You can always work to be more professional, etc., but I am just very authentic about everything including my likes, dislikes and proclivities.” She likes bourbon (not wine) and yes, the CEO cuts coupons out of the Sunday paper.
2. Prepare; don’t wing it.
3. Help others. There are two benefits: 1. It makes you feel really good and 2. They are likely to pay it back at some point in the future, if not today, if not to you, to someone else at another time. Paying it forward sounds polylanna-ish but you can do things and make a difference in other people’s lives… like that young man who gave me the ride.”
4. Participate. Don’t join a group just because it looks good on your resume and take up space. Engage, volunteer, be actionable.
5.Be known for a cause. My job as a health care advocate is one thing but I have carved a unique space and made a name for my organization having and promoting healthy work/life environment.